February 14th is renowned for the celebration of love and romance. I’m a big believer in celebrating love year round, and have never been a fan of boxed candy and roses, so I don’t make a big fuss about Valentine’s Day—but I do acknowledge it, and see it as a fitting occasion to share a chapter from the decades long saga, that is my personal love story.
It started with a cancellation.
My sister-in-law invited my husband and I to vacation with she and other family members in Las Vegas, then had to cancel on short notice — AFTER we purchased non-refundable plane tickets!
We’ve thanked her profusely over the years for both the invitation and the cancellation. We didn’t realize it at the outset, but it proved to be the best cancellation ever!
Change is inevitable and the disruption it causes can create BOTH inconvenience and opportunity. This last minute change created both--and the opportunity presented was life changing.
We have a remarkable origin story. Thirty-one years ago my husband and I got engaged after three days without ever going on a date. And it was mystical, magical, and embodied all the romantic whimsy of fairy tales and happily ever after. We treasure the memory of our unusual and serendipitous beginning.
But serendipitous beginnings are not a guarantee of happy endings!
Reveling in the magic of our origin story without acknowledging the challenges that ensued would be to perpetuate fiction. And I don’t write fiction. I’m a creative NON-fiction kinda girl!
We’ve spent three decades together building a life we love to live. But we mutually agree that not all of those years have been happy ones. His sister’s cancellation call came at a time when we were at a crucial relationship crossroads. It was an unexpected disruption, but one that happened right on time!
Before the cancellation, we had a plan.
Fly to LA
Spend two days alone at the beach
Rent a car
Meet family for a week in Vegas
Suddenly, there was no week in Vegas, and our plan was majorly incomplete. We had 9 days to fill, and only 2 days of arrangements. We went anyway!
Sometimes the unexpected, provides a portal to something wonderful.
Our “something wonderful” was a spontaneous road trip across California, Arizona and Nevada. We covered miles of highway in a rented SUV, while uncovering years of issues that had been deftly tucked away; folded and neatly shelved in a closet of avoidance.
Alone for nine days, 24/7, with no distractions, no disruptions, and no agenda, time granted us a magnifying glass through which to examine what our relationship had become, and a sacred pause to consider what we desired it to be.
Amidst the harried logistics of life with 3 kids, 2 careers, aging parents, and an unending onslaught of busyness, we found ourselves on a slow but steady drift into the doldrums of indifference.
GRACE granted us a chance to correct course. A much needed chance, because an emotionally distant partnership was never our goal.
And though nothing was “majorly”wrong, (no adultery, no abuse, no betrayal)… Is anything majorly right about joyless co-existence?
Who knew a remedy would be found in the guise of a random road trip?
We discovered many things during our 1500 mile, tri-state trek. We basked in the blue brilliance of the Pacific, the glamour of Beverly Hills, the glitz of the Vegas strip, and the scenic wonder of the Grand Canyon.
Ahhh, the Grand Canyon.
It was there, amidst the majestic splendor of cavernous colored rock, that we awakened from the slumber of an undesirable status quo. We peaked over the edge of the South Rim, and saw our lives without the haze of discontentment.
And with that filter removed, we were open to asking questions, seeking answers, and embracing the hope of change.
It’s said that to walk in nature is to experience a thousand miracles. Our walk around the Grand Canyon was a catalyst for the miracles of remembering and rediscovering. And what we found, was some of the intangible treasures of joy that we’d lost in the preceding years.
Laughter. Camaraderie. Silliness. And LIKE!
We learned that a divine redirect can provide concrete answers to unspoken prayers in ways that transcend finite mortal imaginations. Our journey of discovery was luscious ripe fruit plucked from the tree of an unexpected cancellation; A closed door that opened a window of possibility.
Sometimes, what presents as disruption is really Divine Providence intervening with an unanticipated solution.
We are GRATEFUL for just such an intervention!
Below I revisit a poem composed last year for Valentine’s Day. It poetically chronicles three decades of relationship with my husband, best friend and partner in life adventure!
THIRTY YEARS THAT FEEL LIKE YESTERDAY
I noticed his eyes first. Radiant warmth, Glowing embers of a campfire, A universe of kindness embodied in irises of earthy brown.
Dark skin. Smooth like Swiss chocolate. Athletic frame, Majestically sheathed in a silky brown
His face was a masterfully sculpted work of art Strength and vulnerability, seamlessly intertwined
His smile was the sunrise at dawn. Brilliant radiance, Illuminating the space between us.
His gaze met mine. And a fire ignited.
I sensed, And Saw, And Felt, the SUMMER of him, the AUGUST of him, Despite connecting in the coolness of Fall.
Two souls, Destined to cross paths, Introduced—in a twist of irony—by one of my past loves.
Something ethereal was at work. Something otherworldly. We were twin magnets. Transfixed. Secured by a force we both felt, but could not see.
A knowing in his soul, mirrored a knowing in mine. Reflecting a call to oneness back to us.
That Fall encounter of yesteryear was the first step on a joint journey of destiny. Three days and we were engaged. Three decades and the fertile seed of connection has yielded a mature harvest.
I still gaze into his eyes and see a universe of kindness. A soft place to land in a hard world. Shielded from the cold of life by the blaze of shared passion, My heart, is a sea of gratitude that swells with waves of appreciation Thankful for the twin flame with whom I never FELL in love, with whom I ROSE in love…. with whom I’m STILL in love! I first gazed into his eyes thirty years ago. Thirty years, that feel like yesterday!
Beautiful 😍!
💖💖💖