The Beauty of Letting Go - Releasing the Old to Create Space for the New
Hope Infusion Newsletter - October 1st Edition
My first crush was on words and stories, fairytales and legends, metaphor and simile. I desired a story well told, a tale well spun, the rhyme and meter of poetry...long before I developed desires of a romantic nature.
When I transitioned from high school to college, my focus pivoted to the practical. So I sidelined passion. And shelved desire. Setting both aside in favor of practicality.
I secured a sensible degree in business. Accepted a sensible corporate position. Commenced a sensible career in Human Resources and existed in a trance of sensibility for decades before emerging from that hypnotic fog to an awareness of who I’ve always been...and what I’ve always wanted.
I leaned into my desire….so far in, that I fell into a well of my wants. And in that well, I found a resurgent passion for the pen, and a renewed fascination with the art of story.
Sometimes the path forward only becomes clear as you walk it.
I walked into my closet one day in 2020 and found a poetry collection penned when I was 18! It had been on a shelf for decades, but that day I saw it and proceeded to devour every entry. Gazing intently at the words of my former self and seeing my forgotten self reflected back to me.
Sometimes we need to be reminded what we forgot we already knew. My first love returned as a reminder, and to teach me an important life lesson: Anything worth doing well, is worth doing badly.
If you desire to develop a new talent, learn a new craft, acquire a new skill, you must be willing to be awful---for a season. You have to give yourself space to be a beginner, and that means being less than perfect while you learn.
I periodically revisit essays penned when I first re-engaged my passion for the pen. Had they not detailed specific events from my life, I’d be hard pressed to recognize some of my 2019 writing through the filter of my 2022 lens.
My literary journey is a parable in progress, a story still being written, that is showing me how to move past fear of failure, while inviting me to release old shame and create space for new possibilities.
Shame, is like a massive boulder rolling onto the highway of progress, blocking the path of forward motion and prohibiting the pursuit of something radically new.
It’s human nature to sometimes choose a familiar comfort, over an unfamiliar change.
Shame once prevented me from writing publicly, because I didn’t want to be judged on writing done outside the “familiar comfort” of the business world. Misconceptions about age were an exacerbating factor. I bought into the errant notion that my decades long pursuit of a singular career path disqualified me from a midlife pivot into an unrelated area of interest.
But it wasn’t true! It’s never too late to set a new goal or dream a new dream.
Many accomplish their greatest achievements later in life, or later than is considered the prime age for achievement in their field. Examples are many, but here are a few:
Director Ava Duvernay picked up a camera for the first time at 32, and worked full-time while she directed her first FIVE feature length projects.
86 year old Ernestine Shepherd, one of the world’s oldest competitive body builders never worked out or lifted weights until her 50’s!
Nobel and Pulitzer Prize winning author Toni Morrison wrote her first novel at 40, won the Pulitzer at 56, and won the Nobel Prize at 62.
Anna Mary Robertson Moses, commenced her painting career at the age of 78. She was self-taught and exhibited her work internationally into her 90s!
Much has been written about regrets people carry with them to the end of life. Author Bronnie Ware did a deep exploration of the topic based on time spent working in palliative care tending to the needs of the dying. She discovered that the top five regrets pertain to what people didn’t do, not what they did. Thus she encourages people to recognize and remedy the most common regrets while they still have time. (1)
For me that involved finding a writing teacher and community that imbued me with courage to release my fear of starting where I was, and doing it badly, awkwardly, and unpolished for a season.
It involved embarking on a journey of releasing---letting go of shame, insecurity, and the fear of being a novice.
When we finally release that which no longer serves us, we create space to invite new wisdom, new perspectives, new choices, new freedoms.
Autumn is an ideal season in which to practice the art of releasing. As the trees release their leaves in Fall, they demonstrate the concept of “necessary endings”. They show us in a glorious kaleidoscope of color how beautiful it can be to let things go.
Footnote:
(1) The 5 Most Common Regrets of the Dying—and What We Can Learn From Them
Thank you for the fresh perspective on living fully at any age!!
Thank you, Olivia. I needed this one today. ❤️